You son of a bitch! You beat me to it! XDD It's all right though, I'm glad you did this, George Carlin was one of my all time favorite comedians too and I will honor him with some of his quotes here.

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization. "

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. "

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. "

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? "

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. "

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. "

"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. "

And finally, probably my favorite:

"Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day and the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do ANY of these ten things he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever till the end of time! ..........but he loves you."

One thing that was always impressive about Carlin was how long he could go on about lists. Try looking up one where he talks about advertising. HO-LEE shit!

Excellent choice of quotes, my friend! He was an amazing guy.

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You know how kids like to play "Cowboys & Indians"? Why don't they ever play "Nazis & Jews"? They're practically the same thing!

He was a fucking brilliant man, and he said it best...


"Life is measured not by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

--
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both willing and able?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God. ~ Epicurus

That's one hell of a quote you've picked out.

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You know how kids like to play "Cowboys & Indians"? Why don't they ever play "Nazis & Jews"? They're practically the same thing!

It's way true, too.

--
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both willing and able?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God. ~ Epicurus

Exactly.

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You know how kids like to play "Cowboys & Indians"? Why don't they ever play "Nazis & Jews"? They're practically the same thing!